sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
