A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Your dad touched me again.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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