from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
