I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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