Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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