wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
