I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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