season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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