Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
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They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
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It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.