the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm