There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.