I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
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