I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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