Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
