whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize