I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
the liver wants what the liver wants
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
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