Nicole vs. Life
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
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