dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
