I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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