we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
