Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
