Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
