Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize