I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
