highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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