He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
