It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
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