Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
