the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
