doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
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