woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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