i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
