if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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