I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I wear drunk well.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
