I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
