Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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