so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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