well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
