I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
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and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
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You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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