dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
