Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
