I am in a vortex of obligation.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
