My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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