How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
