BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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