I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Randomize
