am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Randomize
