she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
