There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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