is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
