I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
