I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
