Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
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i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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