I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
