How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
