Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
